there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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