Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
