I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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