this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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