Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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