grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
