drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
