I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
