im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
