I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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