Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
