I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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