The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
