The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
