TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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