I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
