i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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