I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
