she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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