So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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