i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
