yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize