so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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