the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
birth control should be required to get into college
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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