I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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