Can Purell be used as lube?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize