She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
