my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
