I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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