I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
