I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize