Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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