Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize