i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
