Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
