i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
