got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
