He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My pussy is not your playground.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
