I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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