You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
