So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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