I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize