My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The air taste purple.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
