you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
