i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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