break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize