then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
