Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
