Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
