I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
