i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
