didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
