its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
