so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
