what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
