Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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