What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
