but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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