Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
wow bdsm is so cute
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
