and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize