Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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