Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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