Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
COCAINE IS GR8
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
