Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
