So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
