I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Your dad touched me again.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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