how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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