News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
