It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
