Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
