after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
