all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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