How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
