so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
