I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize