We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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