Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
