Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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